


Bleed White

by AiselnePN



Category: Xenosaga
Genre: Blood and Gore, Brotherly Love, Complete, Disturbing Themes, Drama, Explicit Language, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Pre-Series, Psychological Horror, Sexual Content, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-24
Updated: 2014-01-24
Packaged: 2018-01-09 21:46:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1151158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AiselnePN/pseuds/AiselnePN
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In childhood, Rubedo and Albedo always had each other's arms to protect themselves from life's nightmares. Alas, there are some nightmares one never escapes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bed of Rose

_"Come now, let us set things right, says the Lord;_  
 _"Though your sins may be like scarlet, they may become white as snow;_  
 _"Though they be crimson red, they may become white as wool._  
 _"If you are willing, and obey, you shall eat the good things of the land;_  
 _"But if you refuse and resist, the sword shall consume you:_  
 _"For the mouth of the Lord has spoken!"_ (Isaiah 1:18-20)

**Part I – _Bed of Rose_**

He had these dreams—nightmares—periodically. The boy would find himself alone in a dark unknown place: a netherworld void of any entrance or exit. No logic, no light, and no _anything_ , existed here; just him and this nonsensical projection of imaginary subconscious. Alone.

Albedo did not want to be alone.

"Rubedo?"

The white-haired U.R.T.V. did not know why he bothered uttering his twin's name. Rubedo already sensed his presence across their mental link, and he knew why his younger brother drew near. Even late at night, in the pitch darkness of their room, each twin was perpetually aware of his other. There were no need for words, and yet Albedo found himself asking for permission out of sheer reflex. Even then, there was no obligation for him to ask, because Rubedo already scooted aside to give Albedo the right portion of his cot. Seconds after the last syllable escaped his lips, bed sheets already covered Albedo's neck-down, with Rubedo's warm chest as his pillow.

"That's the fourth time this week," Rubedo quietly noted, sleepiness minutely distorting the concern in his voice. Resting his chin atop Albedo's disheveled white hair, the older brother released a disheartened sigh. "What's going on, Albedo? You never used to have this many nightmares."

It was not uncommon for Albedo to sporadically have bad dreams, but four nightmares in one week were excessive even for him. At first, Rubedo wondered if Albedo was just concocting excuses for him to share his twin's bed. The Variant boys shared one large bed when they were younger, but in recent years they were given separate rooms, yielding separate cots. Being so attached to Rubedo, Albedo disfavored such arrangements, and often finagled ways of sneaking into Rubedo's room.

It was true that Rubedo felt most comfortable sleeping next to his other half. However, it was also true that the boys were entering adolescence and could no longer heed childishness. For naïve little kids to sleep together was considered innocent. Alas, U.R.T.V.s were bioweapons created to be anything _but_ naïve little kids. Even without the U.R.T.V. technicalities, Rubedo and his brothers were rapidly exiting the age group appropriate for being dubbed "little kids." The link master already boasted the best wavelength and most impressive developmental skills, so the likelihood of Rubedo hitting puberty long before Albedo and Nigredo was not improbable. His hormones were already undergoing a crash-course with Sakura Mizrahi. Nowadays, the redhead no longer considered the idea of bed-sharing to be as innocent as he once believed. Maturity came with a price. As eldest and the leader, it was Rubedo's responsibility to encourage Albedo to grow up, whether Albedo—or Rubedo—liked it or not.

Still, that never meant Rubedo entirely ignored Albedo. A big brother's guardianship never ended, no matter how old he became. Obligations aside, the red-haired leader inherently watched over his siblings. Via their mental link, Rubedo sensed the differences between when Albedo was scared, and when Albedo was fibbing to gain his twin's attention. No matter how excessive Albedo's nightmares seemed, Rubedo felt his right heart throbbing, sending shivers and anxieties throughout his small body. He felt Albedo's genuine terror; the younger brother was not faking. Frankly, matters would be easier if Albedo was indeed faking. If these profuse nightmares were real, then what the hell caused them?

"Does this have something to do with…?" The redhead paused, unable to continue without chewing his lip for a millisecond. What Rubedo was about to ask regarded a topic that was exceptionally sensitive with Albedo, and even with himself. But being the braver brother, the question was inevitable. "…To do with what happened the other day?"

Albedo did not answer. He could not answer. Instead, he just coiled his arms around the redhead's waist.

_What happened the other day_. The link master spoke with such caution, censoring his words as though he were discussing the vilest topic. Genetically, Rubedo might be the fastest to mature, but contrary to Albedo's babyishness, the younger twin was far from a stereotypical child. Even so, he felt himself cower in the wake of Rubedo's words. This subject was horrible for the twins, something neither wanted to talk or think about anymore than necessary. What happened the other day changed their lives forever. The boys' eyes had been opened to the hourglass imprisoning their destinies. Sooner or later, the sand would drain, and one life would end while the other lived forever in loneliness.

Fate was unfair. The formerly-conjoined twins were always together: in life, in birth, and even before birth. Was it unfitting for them to remain together in death? Rubedo's mortality and Albedo's immortality felt like a sick joke, and indeed, was enough to make Albedo sick. He was sick with fear, sick with anger, sick with sorrow, but ultimately sick with pain.

Fortunately, Albedo had one elixir, and he gluttonously savored Rubedo's presence. He knew his clinginess irked Rubedo, but never knowing when their hourglass would run dry, Albedo held on tighter to his beloved brother. If he could not have Rubedo in death, then he would have as much of Rubedo as life permitted. Besides, Albedo knew Rubedo preferred them to be this way, regardless if the proud link master admitted such. They were originally one, after all.

But right now, neither twin wanted to think about their inevitable heartache. As long as the Reaper kept his distance, the brothers wanted to enjoy whatever time remained. Albedo did not want to think about Rubedo's death anymore, he did not want to cry anymore, and he did not want to feel sick anymore. He just wanted to feel Rubedo's warmth and hear Rubedo's voice. As long as the older brother kept his mouth shut about "what happened the other day," Albedo was content with whatever else Rubedo had to say.

"Don't remind me, Rubedo," requested the younger boy, his voice weak and desperate enough to sound as though he begged for his life. "Just please, don't remind me. I don't want to think about it."

Rubedo did not want to think about it, either. Ironically, claiming one did not want to remember usually meant that deep down, he _was_ remembering. Intentional or unintentional, the link master promptly recalled the source of the boys' turmoil.

The night following Albedo's immortal discovery, the ivory-haired boy cried himself to sleep in Rubedo's arms. Granted, there were many other nights in the past where Rubedo held his crybaby brother, but this time was significantly different. While Albedo eventually exhausted himself into slumber, Rubedo got zero sleep that night. No matter how adamantly he tried to eliminate the unpleasant thoughts, the leader was perpetually haunted by his poor twin's wails.

" _Rubedo! Don't leave me behind!"_

All night, Rubedo shed silent tears into Albedo's hair, tightly holding his other half and praying to every god for a sign: some solution to his tragic problem. Surely, if Rubedo was the leader, he could find a way so he and Albedo could always be together, right? But as the hours ticked, morning came, and Rubedo had no solution. Albedo did not want Rubedo to leave him behind, but Rubedo did not want to leave Albedo behind, either. But there _was_ no solution, and the twins were utterly helpless in defying destiny. Rubedo hated it.

Furthermore, he hated the reasons why this revelation transpired. Perhaps Albedo would have unearthed the truth, sooner or later. Nonetheless, the reason Albedo learned about his regenerative "gift" was thanks to the brawl with standard U.R.T.V. Number 623. If the standard U.R.T.V.s actually showed Rubedo respect for once in their lives, Albedo would not need to prove Variant superiority, or defend Rubedo's honor, and inevitably beat-up Number 623. And if Rubedo were not the so-called "monster" the standards coined him to be, then maybe _none_ of these events would have happened. Then everyone could continue their daily lives.

" _Why are you the leader? You're a monster!"_

Rubedo was the leader. Leaders naturally feel responsible for their subordinates. Thus, deep down, Rubedo felt responsible for everything, including the twins' suffering.

"Don't blame yourself, Rubedo."

Sapphire eyes blinking, Rubedo peered downward, meeting his twin's amethysts. Despite the bedroom's darkness, Rubedo's adjusted eyes could see traces of previous tears inside and outside Albedo's eyes. Yet, for however miserable Albedo appeared, he somehow managed to slightly curl the corners of his lips, offering his big brother a weak smile.

"None of this is your fault, Rubedo."

Albedo's reassurance promptly caused Rubedo to scold himself for poorly shielding his thoughts. After all, his nosy little brother sporadically poked around Rubedo's mind. Most telepathic U.R.T.V.s knew better than to stupidly leave their thoughts like an open book. Besides, heavens knew Albedo had enough anxieties clouding his mind, and Rubedo's issues would only compile his problems. A leader's job was also to help his comrades, and right now, Rubedo was doing the opposite to his so-called beloved brother.

"I just…" trailed Rubedo, swallowing a sudden lump in his throat before continuing. "I just don't know what to do." And of course, Rubedo hated to feel helpless. He was too proud to show helplessness, never mind too proud to _admit_ his helplessness. But more so than mere pride, Rubedo hated being unable to help the one he loved most. In the past, some U.R.T.V. missions ended unsuccessfully, costing money and lives. Nevertheless, the link master preferred to fight to the finish…to at least _do something_ , even if the mission was damned to Hell. But when it came to Albedo's condition and the twins' fates, _was_ there anything Rubedo could do?

Albedo felt the same, though a knife twisted in his chest upon seeing Rubedo's forlorn face. The link master was usually quite sure (and full) of himself. Nonetheless, Rubedo almost always wore a confident expression, his voice was in control, and his very aura emanated authority and certainty. Genetically speaking, it was painstakingly obvious that Rubedo was created for the very purpose of being a paragon of leadership. It was even more painstakingly obvious why Albedo revered his other half; the fire-red sun he orbited.

Alas, no matter how amazing Rubedo appeared in Albedo's eyes, the link master was human at heart. When his human limitations surfaced, Rubedo's flawless façade wavered. And because Albedo depended on his brother's stability as his own, whenever Rubedo faltered, Albedo fumbled. The paranoid younger boy believed—without any doubt in his mind—that without Rubedo Albedo would completely crumble. The galaxy could not exist without its sun. Thus, Albedo did not want to see Rubedo's weaknesses, especially now of all times. Rubedo's anxieties intensified Albedo's. The ivory-haired U.R.T.V. wanted to see his proud, pompous, and perfect Rubedo.

Sadly, even Albedo understood that there was nothing Rubedo could do for him, nothing that could completely erase his pain. The only exception would be if Rubedo suddenly discovered that he was also immortal, and then the boys could illustrate the archaic cliché, "living happily ever after." Such loftiness would be a fantasy come true for Albedo. But after so many disturbing revelations, Albedo realized he was no longer a naïve child. He was obligated to mature, especially if Albedo had any intention of surviving an unimaginable future without his twin. There was nothing Rubedo could do for him.

Then again…

"There is…" Albedo whispered, barely loud enough for Rubedo to overhear. Breaking the silence again, the younger boy locked eyes with his other, fighting back tears with a quivering smile. "There is…one thing you can do, Rubedo."

Almost as desperate as Albedo, Rubedo automatically nodded. If he could not release Albedo from his suffering, then Rubedo would do the next best thing…whatever that "next best thing" may be to Albedo. At this point, no request was too large. It was not uncommon for the twins to do favors for each other. Occasionally, deals would be struck: "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours," so to speak. But the Variant twins lived so symbiotically that they often repaid each other's debt without realizing. Rubedo and Albedo once shared a body. Doing favors was as natural as their formerly conjoined hearts pumped blood from one twin to another.

Thus, Albedo's arms tightened as much as possible around his twin, only loose enough to prevent Rubedo's discomfort. He pulled himself upward, just enough so his chin could reach the crook of Rubedo's neck, ultimately so Albedo's heart was aligned with the redhead's half. Never again would the twins' hearts be connected as they were before birth, but this togetherness was a fine alternative.

"Just hold me, Rubedo. Don't let them take you away." Liquids pricking the rims of his purple orbs, the white-haired sibling screwed his eyes shut to restrain a whimper. "P-please."

While Rubedo knew he would be unable to fulfill Albedo's ultimate request, the redhead was able to tighten his hold around his other. Firming his embrace triggered more sniffles from Albedo but Rubedo empathized. As it was, the link master painfully bit his lower lip, doing his damnedest to refrain from crying. Rubedo was Albedo's source of strength, and if he fell to pieces, Albedo would give up entirely. The leader could not expect Albedo to suck it up when Rubedo himself was on the verge of breaking down. If the twins were fated to be separated, the least Rubedo wanted was for his younger brother to learn how to stand on his own two feet.

Sadly, in Albedo's glossy eyes, a life without Rubedo was a life not worth living. He wanted Rubedo. Pecking the redhead's soft neck with a butterfly kiss, Albedo begged, "Please. Take me."

A conglomeration of emotion and shock ascended Rubedo's throat, unexpectedly choking him for a moment. Coughing twice, the boy briefly turned away his head, minutely to avoid hacking in Albedo's hair, but dominantly to hide his reddening face. His heart beating for a variety of reasons, Rubedo's unceremonious reply to Albedo's unprecedented request was, "H-huh?"

Close enough to notice his twin's unease, Albedo raised his head from Rubedo's neck, enough to coerce the redhead to look back into his eyes. Both sets of orbs harbored unshed fluids. Albedo was the notorious crybaby, not Rubedo. Perhaps underneath, the twins were not as different as they seemed. However, seeing tears in Rubedo's eyes terrified Albedo. The ivory-haired twin lacked the self-confidence that came overabundant in Rubedo. Such drove the younger boy to believe that if Rubedo could not handle this situation, there was no hope in Hell for Albedo.

Knowing he could not possibly handle eternal loneliness, Albedo implored again, "Take me with you, Rubedo."

This time around Rubedo felt his nerves calm, but only for a fraction of a second. While one disturbing possibility was averted, a new—possibly worse—possibility manifested in Rubedo's mind. Briefly stuttering, the link master was afraid to ask, "W-what? What do you mean, Albedo?"

"You know what I mean," confirmed Albedo, feeling his brother's half-heart skip a beat. He was not stupid enough to believe Rubedo would be "happy" with his request, but Albedo did believe his choice would be for the best. "I don't want to be alone."

And Albedo knew Rubedo did not want to be alone, either. There were no guarantees regarding the afterlife. It was possible that come death, Rubedo would be alone in one plane of existence while Albedo lived in the other. U.R.T.V.s were not religious, being Dmitri Yuriev's sacrilege of playing God in order to eventually defy and become a god. They did not believe in any Pearly Gates, and even if Heaven existed, a bioweapons' admission was doubtful. Once his life ended where would Rubedo go? Nobody knew, but the link master believed he could handle whatever the afterlife threw at him…as long as he had Albedo's hand in his. But without his twin, Rubedo did not feel quite as optimistic. Albedo did not want to be left behind, and Rubedo did not want to leave without his other half.

There was only one option that might keep the twins together forever. If Rubedo truly loved Albedo, why would he not fulfill this dying request? "Please. Do this for me, Rubedo. Take me with you."

On the one hand, Rubedo wanted to do whatever it took to ensure he and Albedo could remain together. But on the other hand, Rubedo severely doubted he could fulfill Albedo's request. If the younger brother was asking what Rubedo thought—feared— _knew_ —he was asking…

"I-I…I can't," Rubedo regretted to say, partially lowering his head. Yes, he would do almost anything for Albedo, but this was nonnegotiable. Never before did Rubedo believe Albedo could ask for the impossible. This was too gargantuan of a request. "I'm sorry, Albedo, but I just can't do that."

Like his brother Albedo was stubborn. Neither twin relished defeat, nor did he enjoy hearing the word "no." He realized this was a hefty request, and burden, to place on Rubedo's shoulders, but if the situation were reversed, Albedo would happily do the same for Rubedo. For the one he loved with all his heart—the heart that was as much his as it was his twin's—Albedo _would_ do anything for Rubedo.

"Please, Rubedo." Craning his neck, Albedo rose just enough for his lips to caress Rubedo's nearest cheek. In recent years, the maturing redhead attempted to lessen the twins' terms of affection. It was not uncommon for Rubedo to blush, groan, roll his eyes, shove Albedo away, whine, make light of the moment, and so on. But Albedo knew better. The simplest affection was adequate enough to make either twin's heart flutter. In the blink of his glossy eyes, Albedo's lips felt Rubedo's cheek become hot, moist, and salty.

"I said I _can't_!" the redhead swore, blasting his voice through a tempting sob. Affection may have eased Albedo's heart, but it had the opposite effect on Rubedo's. Every touch was a gift he did not deserve, not when Rubedo did nothing for Albedo's happiness. Did Albedo even realize his endearments continuously chipped Rubedo's heart?

His breathing unsteady and heart pounding for too many reasons, Rubedo's world began to spin out of control. He even pondered his sanity. Surely, this asininity was all a dream. Eventually, Rubedo would awake, Albedo would greet him with a smile, and there would be no talk about death and impossibilities. It was a dream, and Rubedo just needed to wake up.

_Wake up! Wake up, Goddammit!_

Wide-eyed and losing the grip on his composure, Rubedo once again locked eyes with his twin. Like before, both sets of colored eyes glistened with tears. Only this time, his azures were the ones filled to their brims.

Why could Albedo not ask for something else— _anything else_? Years ago, sharing dessert was coined as "a big deal" to the kids, along with choosing who got to sleep with Gaignun, who was "it" in Hide-and-Go-Seek, and so forth. Right now, if Albedo made a trivial request, Rubedo would not hesitate to say yes. Unfortunately, right now, what Albedo requested was no trivial matter. Besides, even if Rubedo were stupid enough to agree to Albedo's ridiculous offer, the younger brother's immortality would prevent results. Truly, Albedo was asking the impossible.

Never before had Rubedo felt so undeniably helpless. He was meant to be the link master, and yet he felt as though he failed miserably: a shitty leader and a shittier brother.

" _Why are you the leader? You're a monster!"_

Worse than a monster, Rubedo was a failure. Bowing his head yet again, Rubedo was too ashamed with himself to let Albedo see him cry. "How the hell can you p-possibly ask me to do that to you, Albedo?"

Rubedo half-expected his sentimental brother to burst into tears, hopefully even apologize for his idiotic request and take back his words. Instead, just after Rubedo's head bowed, his chin was cupped and lifted. Tear-spilling blues unwillingly reunited with Albedo's equally overflowing purples. But before the younger twin could resume his role as the emotional Variant, Albedo's other hand wiped away Rubedo's tears, never tending to his own.

Somehow, the so-called crybaby middle child just smiled. "Because I love you. And if it's you…it's okay, Rubedo. This is what I want."

Albedo wanted the impossible and the unthinkable, but he also wanted peace. Perhaps in a way, peace itself was impossible and unthinkable for _any_ U.R.T.V. Did killing machines deserve peace? More and more, Rubedo realized the odds of any Designer Child finding true happiness were slim. Life felt like a rigged game Rubedo had no chances of winning. Was it so much to ask that he at least keep his other half? Sadly, in order for Rubedo to hold onto Albedo forever, he might be obligated to take the younger boy with him. Even if fratricide meant the twins could be together in death…

… _I…I…I-I can't just do that to him. I can't!_

Never before had Rubedo felt so lost. He could not answer Albedo's request, and he did not want to answer, either. Fortunately, his weepy little brother finally gave into his tears, sobbing into Rubedo's dampening chest. Neither boy wanted to perpetuate this heartbreaking conversation anymore. Even if U.R.T.V.s were more mature than average kids, this pain was too great to handle, even for genetically-enhanced humans.

Just like the night following Albedo's immortality discovery, Rubedo held his twin until the white-haired boy slipped into unconsciousness. Only this time, the red-haired leader's tears eventually lured him into slumber, too, retreating to a world where the nightmares of reality could not follow.

**End of Part I of III**


	2. Stained Innocence

**Part II – _Stained Innocence_**

He had these dreams—nightmares—periodically. The boy would find himself alone in a dark unknown place: a netherworld void of any way in or out. No logic, no light, and no _anything_ , just him and this nonsensical projection of imaginary subconscious.

Once in a blue moon these visions came resembling thieves in the night. Like sweet fruit gone rotten, his pristine white fantasies would be tarnished in rusty crimson. Disturbing darkness would become a blinding red: hellfire. And while red was an appropriate—destined—color for him, such never meant Rubedo took comfort in these nightmares. If anything, red was the very reason why he abhorred those visions. Why did he have these gruesome nightmares? The boy would probably never know, and Rubedo preferred to keep it that way.

"Heh…hehehh…"

First he would notice the laughter. It was not the jovial chuckling of children, or the tender giggles that could only come from the object of his affection. Rubedo's heart did not flutter whilst listening to these sick, blood-curdling cackles.

"Hehehheehaheheh."

Quite the opposite, Rubedo's heart slowly sank to his stomach, swallowed like a ball of nails scraping his throat throughout its painful descent. An icy sweat started trickling down his small body, whilst resonant cackles muted the sounds of Rubedo's chattering teeth. Throaty echoes overlapped all around him, surrounding the red-haired child in a maddening serenade.

His ears would be his guide, leading the link master to where his eyes could see the lone figure. Sapphire orbs would blink, immediately recognizing the frame of a child squatting before him. Through the void's blinding redness, Rubedo could see enough of the figure's features matching his: the uniform, the short hair…identical to Rubedo in every way. His back to the link master, the other child remained on his knees, aimlessly staring and digging into the ground before him.

Then Rubedo would notice the ground, concealed in redness alongside the rest of this bizarre locale. Black shadows would outline the curves and shapes submerged in the unearthly crimson. With each passing second, the link master's eyes would recognize shapes, patterns, features…faces…sprawled around him.

Just as his heart met his stomach, Rubedo could feel his insides begin to rise back whence they came. As if his realization were cue, the air immediately became palpable with foul metallic fetor. The more he looked, the more he saw, and the more he smelt, the more he realized. Half-bodies wept more blood than tears, grisly invitations to tiny parasites dancing across glistening membrane and exposed muscle. Gouged skull, jutting ribs, punctured skin, and pools upon pools of precious life fluids. By the time Rubedo's brain processed the disgusting massacre, the boy had already added to the mess by emptying his stomach. Being a bioweapon, he had witnessed war and genocide before, but…

"Hehehaheheahaheheheh…"

…But this was different.

The back of his tattooed hand wiped Rubedo's stained mouth. Regaining himself, Rubedo's eyes averted from the carcasses back to the snickering boy. The other child—U.R.T.V.—was buried waist-deep in corpses, his legs unseen amidst the putrid mess. Seemingly unfazed, the boy continued digging, apparently never noticing—or ignoring—the link master standing behind him. Maddening laughter escalated with each time his hands submerged themselves into the red earth. He looked no different than a child playing in a sandbox; innocent and happy…when in actuality there was nothing innocent or happy about this disgusting scenario.

Unwillingly, Rubedo felt his boots shuffle closer to the boy. He did not have to see the digging child's face to know his identity. Therein laid the reason why Rubedo's heart accelerated with each step. The dream's ambient redness concealed the giggler's hair color, warping everything red, but the elder brother knew better. Designer Children were not created to be stupid.

Underneath that child's redness was white, the broken remains of what used to be Rubedo's other half. Try as he might, regardless of intellect, the redhead failed to understand what happened to his twin. This ignorance, of course, was exempt from the obvious fact that Albedo slipped beyond Rubedo's help. Now the older sibling was haunted by nightmares of a mess he failed to prevent. What frightened Rubedo to his core was knowing there was a possibility this gruesome nightmare might happen in reality someday. Even Rubedo knew that once he died, Albedo—that is, the Albedo Rubedo knew—would be no more.

That is, unless Rubedo did something to stop Albedo. Perhaps there was no hope for Rubedo to eternally stay with his other half. However, that did not give the link master the right to leave Albedo behind in this mentally crippled, unstable, and downright psychotic state.

But what could Rubedo do? The link master could not even control the demonic side of himself that lusted bloody sights such as this dream's. The standard U.R.T.V.s claimed Rubedo was a monster, and though Rubedo vehemently denied such accusations, the 666 engraved in his right palm suggested otherwise. Surely, Rubedo would not be able to help anyone unless he first solved his own self-control issues.

And yet, Rubedo refused to cater to his own needs, partially because he was too afraid to confront his dark shadow, but mainly because he was more concerned over his brother's dire situation. Number 666 was the leader, and he was born to watch over his siblings. Considering he and Albedo were twins, Rubedo held an even greater—deeper—responsibility towards the white-haired boy. Based on the frequency of these grisly nightmares, Rubedo knew he had to make Albedo his top priority. The older brother's personal problems would be dealt with at a later date. Albedo was more important. Was that not the right thing to do?

"Hahehe-hahahehahah-ahehehahaheha…"

Aside the obvious, none of this made sense to Rubedo. Why was he losing his brother? What was happening to Albedo? Was this what might become of Albedo once Rubedo left him? But there was not enough time to ask questions, nor to seek answers. The bottom line was all that mattered. Surely, this boy was Rubedo's dark half…

…This boy, with his back turned to Rubedo…

…This boy, digging into the carcass-stained earth…

…This boy, carving into a body's ribcage, ripping apart squishing organs…

"Heha-hahehehaheheh-ahahaHahHAhhaa-AhahahahHAHEHEH!"

…This boy, laughing hysterically over the blood smeared across his lips…

…This boy needed to be stopped…

…Because this boy was a monster.

Deafening blood pounded into his ears whilst Rubedo's body vibrated to feverish conditions. His legs threatened to collapse, but the stubborn boy swallowed whatever putrid-tasting pride he had left. He could not be scared. Fear led to failure, and Albedo was the last person Rubedo wanted to fail. The older sibling did not want to hear these macabre laughs, noises that sounded nothing like his Albedo. This mad child was not Albedo! At this disturbing point, Rubedo would rather put up with his twins' obnoxious whines and whimpers over listening to…

"Hehaha-hehHAHEHehHa-haAahehah-hHAHEH!"

They were not even laughs. Those snickers were anything but human. They were just…mortifying.

But like it or not, this boy was still Rubedo's brother, the redhead's half-heart. Yes, this boy needed to be stopped, but most importantly…

…This boy needed to be saved.

Indeed, Rubedo would save Albedo.

Manually taking a breath to steady himself to the best of his abilities, Rubedo then walked forward. The other boy continued mauling, enjoying a sick game of morbid dissection in hog slop. Albedo was covered in blood like a white rose concealed in crimson paint. At first glance to the untrained and naïve eye, the twins would look identical. That factor did not bring comfort to Rubedo, either. Quite the opposite, vomiting tempted him again, but the natural redhead persevered. Rubedo certainly could not expect to fix Albedo if the link master failed to pull himself together.

So the eldest mustered his courage and stopped behind his twisted counterpart. Rubedo's knees sank into sludgy ground, mush seeping through his pant legs and adhering to crawling skin. His insides churned all over again upon realizing the corpse-filled ground was lukewarm. Trembling as if he knelt inside a freezer, Rubedo took another breath, attempting to keep his mind off his red surroundings. Albedo was his prime objective. Remembering so, Rubedo's tattooed hand met his brother's back, attracted to the area the twins once shared whole. Only then, for a brief second, did Rubedo feel a sliver of his anxieties rest.

"Heh…heheheheheh…"

But once that second-long bliss ended, Rubedo's horrors returned… _twofold_.

"Albedo…" the redhead started, maintaining a level voice. So many emotions spiraled inside Rubedo's trembling body. He wanted to scream, or yell, and his stomach seemed determined to heave any measly leftovers. But none of those options, however tempting, could resolve this matter. Rubedo was the leader for a reason. He needed to solve problems without falling to pieces, a skill he had been trying to teach Albedo over the years. Weakness, trepidation, sensitivity…those were not options on the battlefield. Now was no different of a scenario.

"Listen to me. You can't do things like this." Rubedo knew what he currently saw was unreal. Something so bizarrely gruesome could not possibly be reality. The idea was to prevent these nightmares from becoming real. "And you don't 'have' to do these things, either," he reassured, before carefully drawing closer to rest his forehead in Albedo's unruly hair. Rubedo's chest pressed to his twin's back, their two left hearts beat against each other in awkward synchronization. "Don't do something you're gonna' regret."

Rare moments such as these always made Albedo submit to Rubedo's tenderness. Already, the older brother could feel his other half loosen, no longer fiddling with the corpse in his lap. Reflective calming reverberated in Rubedo's right chest, a clear-cut sign of his twin's emotions. Yet, oddly, Rubedo could have sworn he felt something else against his _right_ chest. The red-haired boy was unsure what exactly he felt, but it seemed to come from Albedo. But, that was plain silly. Only the older twin possessed beating in his right side.

Unless…

"Hehehehehe…'don't…do…something…I'll… _regret'_?"

Unless…

Blue eyes blinked, widening when he heard Albedo finally reply. Bloodied white hair stung Rubedo's uncovered irises, forcing him to involuntarily clamp watering eyes. He attempted to tear himself away from his younger half, but…something stopped Rubedo. Only now did he finally understand what that something was, beating against the half-heart in his right chest.

_One beat…two beat…three…four…_

There was a mirrored throbbing against the right of Albedo's back.

Only the older twin possessed beating in his right chest.

_Five beats…six beats…seven…eight…_

White hair dripped red…but the droplets never removed the carmine color from Albedo's head.

"Something…I'll…regret?"

And that voice…was _not_ Albedo's.

Against will and odds, the link master stumbled away from the devious child. The slippery ground squealed against the soles of Rubedo's boots, his heels skidding forward while his back jerked in the opposite direction. Literally, poor coordination sent the boy sailing ass-backwards into the bespattered ground, the proud leader resembling a kid shoved into mud by a schoolyard bully. Rubedo suffered worse hits in combat, but sitting waist-deep in this nightmare's chambré necropolis still made the U.R.T.V. feel faint.

Or, perhaps Rubedo's dizziness was not credited to his vile surroundings.

Perhaps, what truly mortified the boy, was what he saw when Albedo's neck turned to finally face his twin.

Blue eyes met blue eyes.

"Something… _I'll_ regret? Heheh, look…who's talking… _Rubedo_."

The redhead was right all along. That murderous boy in Rubedo's nightmare was _not_ Albedo; not the Albedo Rubedo knew, and not the Albedo anyone else knew, either. Only now did the link master realize that maybe he _should_ have worried more about the _other_ murderous boy who haunted his blood-red nightmares—himself.

Rubedo's twin…his mirror image… _himself_ …stared at him, dark blue eyes burning into wide azure orbs. As if his fiery hair was indeed consumed by flame, Rubedo squirmed, attempting to climb to his feet amidst the slippery ground and his vibrating legs. More profoundly than a naked child doused in ice water, the link master shook uncontrollably. Rubedo's nightmarish doppelganger was his spitting image, and yet…the imitation could not be more dissimilar than Rubedo.

Rubedo wanted to wake up, but his twin never permitted him to leave scot-free.

_Smirk._

The red-painted imitation remained half-turned on his knees, refusing to give the arrogant leader the satisfaction of full attention. A glob of wet meat in his hand, Rubedo's duplicate absentmindedly fiddled with the slop like a child with waterlogged clay. His icy eyes resembled cat-like slits, not the big blue eyes of the curious child Rubedo best resembled. All the while, the clone's face split into an eerie smirk, cracked lips forming a crooked line that was a far cry from Rubedo's typically confident grin.

Then the copy raised his crimson eyebrows and spoke. "What's wrong? Don't tell me you're… _scared_." He sounded like Rubedo, matching the leader's haughty tone, but his voice was darker, replacing brash youthfulness with a twisted sense of amusement. "Fear isn't a good quality for a leader." Then his eyebrows lowered and his gaze darkened. "Heh, not that you're much of one."

Gasping a breath of nasty air, Rubedo briefly choked back bile before pulling himself together. Rubedo handled far worse situations in combat, so surely he could handle a nonsensical dream. Besides, few things got between Rubedo and his pride. Ignoring the ghastly netherworld around him, the redhead regained his balance, attempting to establish his natural-born authority.

_Not that I'm much of a leader? Like hell I'm not!_ Rubedo was the link master, _he_ was the strongest U.R.T.V., and he would not be belittled by some ridiculous figment of his imagination! Balling fists, the redhead's arrogance overrode his anxieties. "What…what the hell's that supposed to mean?"

Unperturbed by the leader's self-proclaimed authority, the unfazed doppelganger shrugged. "See for yourself. Look around you. Whose bodies do you think these are, anyway? Daddy didn't build you without a brain, after all. You should be smart enough to figure out what all of this means." Then, the clone's smirk broadened to flash his copper-stained teeth. "Or _are_ you?"

Never tolerating blows to his pride, Rubedo narrowed his eyes and clenched fists tighter. But not about to prove his observational skills wrong, the boy glanced around the gory panorama. Bodies upon bodies, swarms upon swarms… Rubedo felt as though somebody tossed him into a meat locker with broken refrigeration. He did not want to look any longer than necessary. Bioweapon or not, Rubedo was still a child with an impressive tolerance for bloodshed, but not an _infallible_ tolerance. Puking once was embarrassing enough.

"Look around all you like," teased the phantom, averting Rubedo's attention away from the grime and back to his shadowy other. "You won't recognize any of them. These people are too far gone to be identifiable anymore," he snorted, conveniently swatting a nearby buzzard. More disgusting than this mortuary was the fact that Rubedo's copy seemed to get one hell of a kick out of this hideously immoral world. "Doesn't this make you sad, Rubedo?"

"Sad" was not the first word that came to Rubedo's mind. "More _disgusted_."

"'Disgusted'?" blinked the phantom in mock surprise. "Disgusted in what? This carnage? Or are you just disgusted in yourself?"

Proud as always, Rubedo retorted, "I've got no reason to be disgusted in myself!"

"Yeah right," scoffed the other. "It's plain as the nose on your face. First off, you're embarrassed as hell for feeling as squeamish as a little pussy."

" _What_ did you just–"

"More over, it disgusts you to know this is all your handiwork."

Still reeling over the effeminate slander, Rubedo barely noticed his imitation's last phrase. But when the words finally registered, the leader froze all over again. _Handiwork?_ Like it or not, Rubedo's sapphire eyes took another glance of the world around him. Everywhere he looked, in every corner, from here to eternity, lied sacks of bloated, scarlet flesh. And it was true; Dmitri Yuriev did not design his kids to be fools, so Rubedo easily unearthed the truth within this nightmare.

That did not mean Rubedo relished the truth, of course.

"Selfish bastard," the duplicate chided, still enjoying the sight of the proud link master attempting to stand strong in the wake of horror. "None of this would've happened if you actually gave a damn about someone other than yourself. You pretend to care more about your brothers, but that's just your excuse to run away from yourself. All you've ever cared about is saving your own sorry ass, your crappy excuse of a life, over others. Your happiness over others…"

"Shut up!" blasted Rubedo, poorly maintaining his maturity when his boot absentmindedly stomped a puddle. Red dots spattering his lower body, the leader winced only for a second before his anger drove him onward. It was imperative that Rubedo remember that this world was not real. If only he would wake up soon. "You're not me, and you don't know what the hell you're talking about!"

"Really?" Rubedo's clone inquired, still wearing that cockily entertained smirk that Rubedo wanted to wipe off his face. But before punches could be thrown, the doppelganger abruptly turned his head back around, staring down into oblivion whilst his back mocked Rubedo. "I think I know more about you than you do yourself. If I weren't hitting so many soft spots, you wouldn't be getting so defensive, now would you? It's dangerous when enemies can exploit your weaknesses, isn't it? I've gotta' say, you make it pretty friggen easy, Rubedo."

No truer words were spoken, which was why Rubedo gave himself a mental kick in the ass.

"But being scared is only natural, too," continued the copy. "You're human…technically, anyway. But it's more than humanity that makes you fearful, ya know. It's how you were made, and it's what you inherited, just like all your other personality traits. And let's face it…you _are_ afraid, especially if your fraidy-cat twin is any indication of your inherent fears."

It was not the first time someone compared Rubedo and Albedo. Quite the contrary, it was very common for the Variant twins to be compared. Artificially created conjoined twins were rarities, so scientists were keenly interested in researching the results of this phenomenon. And since Rubedo and Albedo were not identical twins, it seemed only natural that researchers would notice each and every minute difference between the boys.

Yet, any compliments were usually in Rubedo's favor. Rubedo was the brave twin and Albedo was the coward. Rubedo was the strongest U.R.T.V. and Albedo was his flawed afterthought. Rubedo was loud and Albedo was quiet. Rubedo was self-confident and Albedo was self-conscious. Rubedo was the link master and Albedo was the weakest link. So on and so on. Even Albedo believed such criticism to be true, revering his perfected other half to be near God. In truth, Rubedo knew he was human, so he knew he was imperfect, and he wanted to be treated "normal," not considered a weapon or a god. Thus, the red-haired boy tried not to let such critical acclaim go to his head.

However, when someone compared Rubedo and Albedo, and claimed Rubedo was possibly as flawed as Albedo… if he had not let the praise go to his head, Rubedo would not feel so insulted, would he?

"Speaking of Albedo…" The doppelganger interrupted Rubedo's rage-filling thoughts, knowing the precise moments to speak before the link master shot off his mouth. "What about _him_? Admit it; he annoys you. The only reason you allow him to cling to you is cause' deep down, you cling to him."

His pride sinking lower and lower, Rubedo started to reach his final nerves. "Bullshit!" Rubedo let Albedo cling to him because it made Albedo feel better, nothing more. Sure, Rubedo liked being close with his twin, but the closeness' pleasures were just added bonuses, not Rubedo's prime objectives…right?

The imitation did not seem to agree. "Heh, the only bullshit around here is what _you_ 're pulling, Rubedo. You cling to your twin just as much as he clings to you. And why? Filial duty? Family? Brotherly love? Now _that_ 's bullshit. Albedo's just your security blanket to get through the night, because you're too chickenshit to be alone and face what you truly are."

No. It was Albedo who needed Rubedo to get through the night, not the other way around. "Just shut the hell up," snarled the leader, taking a threatening step forward. His phantom copy refused to turn around to acknowledge him, but Rubedo had enough of these games. _He_ was the link master, and _he_ was in control! "You can go ahead and twist the facts all you want, but your little game of mind-fuck isn't gonna' work!"

"'Mind-fuck'?" The copy mocked again, snickering like a pervert naughtily peeking down the neckline of a woman's blouse. "Heheh, that's funny coming from you."

Not liking the imitation's dirty yet disturbing tone of voice, Rubedo dared to ask, "And what the hell is _that_ supposed to mean?"

"No reason." And yet, for no reason, the doppelganger chose now of all times to peer over his shoulder, showcasing a nefarious smile for Rubedo's enjoyment. "But tell me, Rubedo. What does it feel like to be loved?"

The question coming out of nowhere, Rubedo easily faltered. "W-what?"

But even though the clone asked a question, he seemed to already know the answer. "It's nice, isn't it? There's nothing more satisfying than being loved. And how convenient for you that your twin worships the ground you walk on. Even when people condemn him and claim he's your crappy copy, Albedo doesn't care. He'd rather see you get the glory, so while your head's in the clouds; _he_ 's the one who can enjoy the smile on your pretty little face. If you stand before him, Albedo will bow. Ask, and he'll say yes. You may be surprised at what lengths Albedo might go to have that smile all to himself, Rubedo."

Deep down, like it or not, Rubedo knew the truth. His twin's fetish never improved over the years. But Rubedo blindly believed that as long as Albedo's fixation did not cause harm to others or himself, then Rubedo would tolerate the boy's clinginess. Alas, after the incident between Albedo and the beaten U.R.T.V. Number 623, it was obvious that Albedo's obsession was getting dangerous. Rubedo dared not imagine what lengths Albedo would go in order to appease his unhealthy idée fixe.

"But I wonder…when was the last time _you_ did Albedo any favors, Rubedo?" The tables turned, Rubedo blinked a gasp. "When did _you_ worship him? Was his smile ever enough for you, or do you need more? Why can't love be a two-way street?"

"This isn't love, it's _obsession_." But just after the words slipped past Rubedo's lips, the redhead immediately felt cold. This drop in temperature was not due to his surroundings, either. Denouncing the love between him and his brother felt utterly sacrilegious. He knew if Albedo ever overheard such blasphemy, the white-haired twin would burst into tears, flee, and force Rubedo to chase him and apologize. Yet, though Albedo was nowhere in sight, Rubedo already felt the need to repent for his words. How could he callously claim what lay between him and Albedo was _not_ love?

"You're half right, Rubedo," corrected the imitation, much to Rubedo's piqued curiosity. "Albedo is the only obsessive one, not you. But you're right; it's _not_ love between you twins, is it?"

Something squeezed the inside of Rubedo's right chest.

"You don't want things to be a two-way street between the two of you, huh, Rubedo? It's gotta' be all about you, and Albedo is pathetic enough to satisfy your selfishness."

That was not true. Yes, Albedo hated to anger Rubedo, and yes, Albedo often did anything and everything in the name of his other half. But…Rubedo never asked for any of it! Albedo chose to revolve his world around Rubedo, so it was not as though the redhead forced the younger twin to obsess over him. The haughty link master was not _that_ full of himself. Albedo had a mind and will of his own.

Shaking his head, Rubedo denied the phantom's allegations. "You're wrong."

"Albedo would die for you, if he _could_ , of course," chuckled the doppelganger, although Rubedo found zero humor in the reminder of Albedo's immortality. No doubt, Albedo _would_ die for Rubedo's sake, and such masochism terrified Rubedo. His twin was so terrified of being left behind, and so desperate to escape his immortal curse. Rubedo feared what Albedo might try in order to follow his beloved other half into the next life.

"But would _you_ die for Albedo, Rubedo?"

At first, the question seemed stupid. The twins would do anything for each other, without thinking or expecting compensation. But in actuality, Rubedo's question was tricky. _Would_ he die for Albedo? Perhaps the question was _could_ he die for Albedo? If Rubedo died, regardless of the reason, Albedo could not handle it. For Rubedo to die for Albedo translated as Albedo being the reason for Rubedo's death. Then the white-haired boy would be riddled with guilt, piled onto an eternity of loneliness, and God only knew how Albedo's sanity would fare. The younger twin's mind was already questionable, and Rubedo could not, and did not want to, imagine Albedo getting any worse. If Rubedo died for Albedo, such would ruin the surviving twin. Thus, the topic of self-sacrifice was too contradictory for Rubedo to answer. He _would_ die for his brother, but Rubedo did not want to ruin his brother, either. How could he choose when all of his options led to disaster?

But the phantom clone did not understand, or heed, Rubedo's complicated thought process. "You _wouldn_ 't die for Albedo, would you, Rubedo?"

The accusation cut Rubedo like a knife. "I…it's not like that."

"I feel sorry for Albedo," although the phantom sounded anything but empathetic. "No matter what he does for you, it's never enough. Then again, he chose his path, so he's only got himself to blame. Nevertheless, you must feel pretty good about yourself, Rubedo. Few people are lucky to have someone willingly throw away their dignities for unrequited love. I'd imagine it's pretty damn gratifying for you to know Albedo would throw away himself, all for you, or lay himself before you, give himself to you, come…"

"I'm _not_ gonna' say it again," Rubedo growled behind gritted teeth. Fingernails dug into his palms, fists trembling with fury as this dream's conversation reached intolerable territory. If Rubedo intended to exercise his authority, now was a good time to do so. Standing his ground, the link master felt angry enough to instill the fear of God into this asinine nightmare. "Shut the fuck up!"

Knowing he would increase Rubedo's rage, his phantom laughed as their sick game proceeded. "Again, your language is hilarious. Who the hell are you to deny any of this?" Blue eyes locked onto their mirror image, the imitation sneered matter-of-factly. "The only person you're fooling is yourself, Rubedo. You're on your high horse like always, not even realizing 'what' it is you're riding in the first place."

No longer possessing the patience to decipher riddles, Rubedo allowed his impatience to control his mouth. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I've already told you to look around." Only for a moment did one of the copy's blood-dripping arms raise, sweeping the area for effect. "Carnage such as this isn't the handiwork of a child, nor is it the work of a simple bioweapon. He who wields the giant sword will bathe the world in the color of his horse. Or have you been so desensitized by war that you can't tell the difference when you're fighting it or _causing_ it?"

Another trick question came, which Rubedo stumbled to find an answer.

"Can you even tell the difference between the blood of your enemies and the blood of your comrades?" But just before Rubedo was allowed to think of an answer, the doppelganger suddenly lowered his arm, looked away, and broke into a small fit of disturbing cackles. It appeared as though the imitation concocted his own joke, and Rubedo doubted he wanted to unearth the punch line.

"No. Of course you can't tell the difference," snickered the demon, speaking in that lewd tone that unnerved Rubedo earlier. "You still haven't figured out 'what' it is you're riding right now, after all. Haheh."

Rubedo wanted to reiterate another round of "Shut ups" and "What the hell are you talking abouts," but he was not given the opportunity. This nonsense nightmare had to stop, but when he was in no hurry to awaken, Rubedo knew his only other option. If this was his dream, this was his responsibility to take control. Mentally slapping some sense into himself, the link master did what he should have done sooner. Sloshing through the messy surroundings, he returned to the doppelganger's back. Only this time, Rubedo had no intentions of being gentle.

" _You don't need to be gentle."_

And Rubedo would not be gentle. He never was gentle in the first place.

" _If it's you…it's okay, Rubedo."_

Of course it was okay. This was what he wanted, after all.

…

"W-wait…what–?" The unexpected tangent of thoughts felt like a literal slap to Rubedo's forehead. And before his clouded mind realized what happened, the leader peered down to his mirror image. Physically, the doppelganger looked exactly like Rubedo, except perpetually on his knees in the body-filled ground.

It was only then that Rubedo realized something he wished he never noticed at all. Every inch of the nonexistent ground was covered with corpses. Technically, Rubedo was standing atop some nameless and faceless victim. However, that also meant Rubedo's double was kneeling atop a victim, with his uncovered legs straddling…

"No…" Back and forth, Rubedo shook his head. Back and forth, his doppelganger— _himself_ —thrust. Back and forth, Rubedo refused to acknowledge the sight before his wide eyes. Whether he was cowardly or not, the redhead had to screw shut his eyes. This was not him. This was not real. This was not something Rubedo would ever do. He would never massacre hundreds of people, and he sure as hell would _never_ …

"But you _are_ , Rubedo, and you can't stop in the middle."

"No!" refused Rubedo, clamping his eyes shut as virtually possible. _Wake up. Wake up. Wake up! WAKE UP! Please!_ Back and forth, he shook his head to dizzying levels, _back and forth_. More than ever, the redhead wanted to open his eyes and be greeted with his twin's shimmering violet eyes.

"It's okay, Rubedo."

Normally, it was Rubedo who spoke such soothing words to Albedo. But now, more than ever, it was Rubedo who needed Albedo to comfort him. Yes, everything would be okay. This dream was unreal. Once he opened his eyes, Albedo would be there, smiling in his arms. Then Rubedo could hold him tight, kiss his forehead, and meditate to the hymn of their tandem hearts.

_One beat…two beat…three…four…_

The beating in Albedo's chest was beautiful. Rubedo's chest was an uncoordinated duet between two conflicting hearts, but Albedo's solo was more streamlined. Despite the younger twin's questionable mentality, Albedo's one heart was far less complicated than Rubedo's. It was Rubedo who always acted wishy-washy and struggled to make heads or tails of his emotions, but not Albedo. The white-haired U.R.T.V. knew what he wanted, no doubts or questions. Odd to think there was more peace inside Albedo's chest than there was in his head.

"This is what I want, Rubedo."

After denying accusations of selfishness, how could Rubedo possibly refuse Albedo's request?

Besides, Albedo was not the only one who wanted it.

Rubedo never noticed the disappearance of his doppelganger. Had the clone ever existed in the first place? The redhead no longer thought straight. His surroundings became warmer and wetter, consumed by red and purple retrovirus waves. _U-DO?_ Fingers digging into skin, Rubedo gave in, tearing into Albedo from the outside in. The white-haired boy's face flushed red whilst the color ran between his thighs. Every time he winced, every time he whimpered, every time he moaned…the lustful medley hypnotized Rubedo. He was too drunk to realize reality, too high to notice the magnitude of this sin, and much too happy to care. Pain and pleasure, pleasure and pain…two halves of a whole as he and Albedo were intended. Rubedo got what he wanted, and he would give Albedo what he wanted.

"Take me."

Limits neared, and Rubedo's hands caressed his twin's harmonic, bloodied chest. The doppelganger had already dissected the white-haired boy, exposing his throbbing heart imprisoned within a rusty ribcage. The precious, tender little organ throbbed so innocently, like a baby mouse about to be captured by a hawk's talons. Half of Rubedo's heart belonged to Albedo, meaning half of Albedo's heart belonged to Rubedo, too. And now Rubedo could take the twins' broken pieces and make them whole again. Fully consumed, Rubedo plunged himself into his other half, claimed his twin's bleeding heart as his own, and took all from Albedo.

_If it's you…it's okay, Rubedo._

_This is what I want._

_Because I love you._

The only reason Rubedo finally opened his eyes was because Albedo screamed his name.

**End of Part II of III**


	3. Heart of Blood

**Part III – _Heart of Blood_**

Rubedo's eyes flew open as he took a heavy gasp, mirroring a formerly-submerged swimmer breaking the surface after holding his breath too long. Crystalline beads trickled down his body, adhering sleepwear to sweat-soaked skin. Gripping bed sheets whilst feverishly trembling, the panting redhead desperately attempted to salvage his composure.

Alas, Albedo already noticed.

As before, the twins were still in each other's arms. Albedo's ear to Rubedo's chest, it was not difficult for the younger boy to regard the link master's behavior. The temperature of their shared body heat rose, notably from Rubedo's side. Perpetually paranoid over anything harmful happening to his dear twin, Albedo easily fretted for Rubedo's health. But having ample experience with nightmares of his own, it did not take long for the white-haired boy to identify Rubedo's slumber shaking. Albedo nearly woke up his brother, had Rubedo not beaten him to the punch.

Lifting his head off Rubedo's puffing chest, Albedo propped up himself on one arm beside his twin, separating the children by the chest-up. His cheek in palm, the younger boy waited a few more seconds for the link master to calm down, before asking the inevitable.

"Are you okay, Rubedo?" Perhaps it was a silly question, but Albedo did not consider his other half's wellbeing to be a trivial matter whatsoever. Bad dreams, themselves, were harmless, but they tended to have long-term effects that could pose problems. He felt his brother's sweat, and he felt Rubedo's heart race and body shake. Albedo never wished harm onto him. "You had a nightmare, too, didn't you?"

The link master considered himself too proud to fall to pieces over a dumb dream. However, this so-called dumb dream was too disturbing to go unnoticed. Never before had Rubedo endured such a horrific vision, too graphic for a kid to ever see. And while U.R.T.V.s were more mature than typical twelve-year-olds, children were still children. Rubedo had limits, though he hated to admit them. Part of him wanted to shrug-off tonight's dream, slap a smirk onto his face, chuckle, and tell Albedo there was nothing to worry about.

Of course, Rubedo could not lie to Albedo. It was not because of brotherhood, but because the red-haired boy was _obligated_ to explain himself. He could feel Albedo discreetly fidgeting, personifying the childish phrase, "ants in one's pants." Except, it was what lied outside, rubbing _against_ his pants, which caused Albedo's discomfort. When Rubedo finally noticed his thighs against Albedo's, and an unexpected, hard throbbing attempting to make its way from the older twin's pants to the other…

Bedsprings squealed. Immediately flipping himself over to his opposite side, the embarrassed Rubedo buried a flushed face into his pillow. What were the odds that this humiliating—as all hell—moment was just another dream of Rubedo's? It figured that the one time Rubedo _wanted_ to be dreaming, he was not.

Blinking behind his brother, Albedo waited another moment for Rubedo's possible composure. More confused than anything else, the younger boy felt his own cheeks warm, particularly when he recalled what just transpired. As Albedo tried to make heads or tails of the situation, his tattooed palm lingered downward, caressing where he just felt Rubedo's minute yet noticeable firmness. Only then did the ivory-haired child's heart begin hammering. Albedo was not an idiot. He knew what happened. He just could not believe what happened. Blushing brightly, Albedo locked his glossy purple eyes onto his twin's back.

_Rubedo…_

Their mental link exchanged the U.R.T.V.s' emotions, not needing words to express their sheepishness. Frankly, Rubedo did not know how the hell he could possibly explain himself after this escapade. Even if the aforementioned escapade was too brief for anything momentous to happen, Rubedo was still ashamed. Biting his lower lip, the redhead burrowed deeper into the plush protection of his pillow. He was the link master, he was supposed to be in control, and he was also supposed to be able to control himself. If Rubedo submitted, like he did in that nightmare…

…No. Rubedo would never do anything like that to Albedo. _Never!_

"If it's you…it's okay, Rubedo."

The red-haired twin nearly flipped again, snapping his neck to peer over his shoulder. Two flushed faces made awkward eye contact, though Rubedo's eyes were wide with horror. Albedo, on the other hand, quickly averted his sight elsewhere, much too coyly for Rubedo's comfort.

Stammering, Rubedo was afraid to ask, "W-wha…what did you say, Albedo?"

Blinking again, the younger boy drew his eyes back to his twin. "I said it's okay, Rubedo." What more could he say? What more did he _want_ to say? Finding himself at a loss for further words, Albedo just glanced away into oblivion, his bashfulness genuinely disturbing Rubedo.

Blue eyes blinking incessantly, Rubedo once again questioned whether or not he was dreaming. Although his current scene lacked the nastiness of the previous nightmare, Rubedo still felt exceptionally unnerved and frightened. Albedo's behavior did nothing to alleviate his unease. What in God's name did Albedo mean by "it's okay"? A part of Rubedo actually wanted his twin to lash out, get emotional, scream…anything that would prove this moment was _anything but okay!_

Arousal simmering as quickly as it came, the link master recovered the remains of his dignity. Rolling over to face Albedo again, Rubedo exhaled. "There's nothing okay about this, Albedo," seriously countered the elder brother, much to the ivory-haired boy's surprise. Why the hell was Albedo so bewildered by Rubedo's tone? There was absolutely no reason why either of the twins should be taking this situation lightly. True, Albedo did not yet know _everything_ about Rubedo's nightmare…

…Frankly, Rubedo was afraid to divulge his dream to Albedo. It never took a great amount of effort to scare the middle brother. Quite often, Rubedo innocently yet teasingly frightened Albedo, which always backfired. The little brother inevitably sought the protection of Rubedo's bed to weather a spooky night. Although, there were a few occasions in the past when Rubedo scared Albedo for that very purpose…not that Albedo knew. Nevertheless, there was a difference between blameless spooks and horrific nightmares. Shaking his head as though to erase bad memories, Rubedo took another deep breath. "There's nothing okay about me having dreams like that."

Like all kids, U.R.T.V.s had dreams. Even Rubedo had his share of childhood's scary dreams: monsters chasing him, or the disgusting cafeteria food coming to life as some mucky monster—or wait, that was another story intended to spook Albedo. It resulted in the white-haired twin hardly eating for nearly a week, thus being not one of Rubedo's smartest ideas. But when it came to nightmares of his own, Rubedo never acted like his fraidy-cat twin, who once awoke wailing because he dreamt Gaignun became fifteen-hundred-feet tall and destroyed downtown Miltia. Silly dreams yielded hearty laughs, but nothing of the sort happened tonight. To laugh at Rubedo's recent nightmare would be downright inappropriate.

"What exactly happened, Rubedo?"

The link master earnestly wished Albedo never asked. However, Rubedo also feared if he did not provide a verbal answer, Albedo would dig for answers across the mental link. The white-haired twin was persistent, too. If Rubedo censored his thoughts tonight, Albedo would wait as long as necessary before the redhead let down his guard. A few seconds were all it took for an unblocked U.R.T.V.'s thoughts to become fair game across the link. And if Albedo unearthed Rubedo's gruesome nightmare alone, unpleasant results could follow. Being damned if he did and damned if he did not, Rubedo decided to get it over with.

"I-n, I mean, in the dream, I–" The link master could not recall the last time he felt so tense. Just the other day, Rubedo's tongue tied when talking about the opposite sex, which seemed like such a trivial matter now. However, Rubedo's main hesitation when talking about Sakura was his fear of upsetting his possessive twin. Similarly, the red-haired U.R.T.V. fretted that his dream may similarly disturb Albedo, rightfully so, too. But when Albedo's purple eyes pleaded for Rubedo's continuance, the leader sucked up a puff of air and proceeded uneasily. Scoffing in self-disgust, Rubedo shook his head. "God, Albedo. I…k-killed in that dream."

Technically, killing was not considered outlandish to a bioweapon, which explained why Albedo did not look overly fazed by Rubedo's confession. Battle and murder were part of a U.R.T.V.'s job, no different than a Lost Jerusalem chef cooking lobster via boiling the creature alive. Alas, unlike standard U.R.T.V.s who lacked consciousnesses, the Variants harbored consciences. Ironically of all the Variant U.R.T.V.s, the link master's conscience was the most poignant. Albedo may have been unfazed by killing, but he never liked seeing his brave leader in distress. Rubedo saw plenty of warzones and blood throughout his young life, so how could a mere dream be any worse? Apparently, there was more to this nightmare than Albedo knew.

His 667-tattooed hand stroking Rubedo's collarbone, Albedo asked gently, "Who did you kill, Rubedo?"

Yet another question Rubedo was unsure he could answer without falling apart. "…A _lot_ , Albedo," the boy admitted quite shamefully. Yes, he was a bioweapon accustomed to killing, but that never meant Rubedo was proud of himself. He preferred to protect people, not slay them, especially when it came to people he held dearest. "I killed a lot of people…most I didn't even know. I don't know why the hell I killed them, but…but I don't think the reasons matter. Regardless…I killed them. That's all there is to it."

Albedo briefly chewed his lip. He hated to see his happy-go-lucky brother act so somber. Unlike timid Albedo and nonchalant Nigredo, Rubedo was the exuberant energy of the Variant boys. When the sun's reddish fire dimmed, darkness consumed the world. The last thing Albedo wanted was for Rubedo to sink into the same melancholy Albedo constantly bore.

"But it was just a dream, Rubedo." Rubedo used to always say such to Albedo whenever the little brother had an unpleasant dream. "It's all just a bad dream. Nothing more."

"Maybe…" Rubedo trailed, although Albedo's innocent words sparked an unexpected fire inside Rubedo. This fire, however, was anything but happiness. Discreetly grinding his teeth, the link master frustratingly snarled to himself. "But I still killed people, Albedo. The killings weren't like we normally do during a mission, either." After all, U.R.T.V.s were trained to be professionals, not indiscriminate butchers. Regardless of the body count, U.R.T.V. killings were clean and quick, just as Dmitri Yuriev trained his efficient little bioweapons. "All the bodies were…" swallowed Rubedo, hoping he wouldn't inadvertently give his recently-spooked twin another nightmare. "…Mutilated. Hell, most bodies were unrecognizable…just piles and pieces of limbs."

Albedo had to gulp, too. U.R.T.V.s were not exceptionally squeamish, but kids were still kids. Furthermore, feeling Rubedo's nausea across the mental link reverberated inside Albedo. Any emotion one twin felt was easily passed onto his other half. That was why the white-haired brother knew Rubedo's fear was genuine. The older brother was not embellishing his story to stupidly panic Albedo. Rubedo was scared.

" _Please. Do this for me, Rubedo. Take me with you."_

Even worse, Rubedo neglected one significant detail from his nightmare. Of all the nameless bodies he massacred, the link master did identify _one_ person he slew. Worse than a clean slaying, Rubedo dissected his brother's throbbing heart! And considering Albedo's fetish for dying, especially dying by Rubedo's hands, the older twin was too chicken to divulge this secret. Dreaming about being murdered by Rubedo was something that would insult Albedo—or more disturbingly, it might please Albedo—and Rubedo relished neither possibility.

"How the hell could I have dreams like that, Albedo?" Of course, if Rubedo did not have the answers, Albedo would not have the answers, either. Besides, it was not Albedo's place to solve Rubedo's problem. If the link master dreamt of carnage, then there had to be a reason buried deep in his subconscious. U.R.T.V.s were not psychoanalysts, but Rubedo highly doubted he had tonight's dream without some logical reasoning. No sane person dreamt about massacres for the hell of it.

Even worse was how massacres were not the _only_ things showcased in Rubedo's nightmare.

" _You don't need to be gentle."_

"Rubedo?" piqued Albedo, noticing his brother's demeanor rapidly shift across the mental link. Once his hand ascended to Rubedo's cheek, Albedo noticed the redheaded boy's body heat rise. "What is it? You're blushing again."

Why did Albedo feel obligated to point that out? Still, Rubedo knew he only had himself to blame for this mess. The twins kept a few secrets from each other, but between their telepathic link and their half-hearts, the lifespan of a secret was short-lived. Regardless, Rubedo had more explaining to be done. If not the dream, Rubedo owed it to Albedo to explain what the hell attempted to breach their pants. Dreams were just dreams, but when the dreams yielded _physical_ effects…what was Rubedo to do? This was his first time, and though Rubedo's first time did not get very far, the boy was still frightened. It disturbed—and embarrassed—Rubedo to know that while his brain was unsure how to react to a sexual dream, the rest of his body sure as hell knew what to do. The thought alone intensified Rubedo's blush. He was the link master, so Rubedo was not supposed to be like this.

_But…like_ what _, exactly?_

Gently shaking his head to release his cheek from Albedo's caress, Rubedo took a few seconds to prepare himself and his words. Alas, the link master was not the most eloquent of speakers, especially when anxious. It never took much effort to freak-out Albedo, either, so Rubedo's word-choice was imperative.

"The things I saw in that dream, Albedo…" Rubedo began, grappling onto his composure amidst recalling the horrific memories. "They were downright indecent."

The word "indecent" struck a cord within Albedo. If Rubedo dreamt of mass murders, the middle child expected to hear words such as "disgusting" and "grisly." And while immoral killing could be considered a branch of indecency, such a word was more commonly associated with obscene matters. And obscene matters were just a milder rephrasing for salaciousness.

Feeling his own cheeks tingle with warmth, Albedo began to understand his twin's behavior. Even if Albedo was the most timid of the Variant boys, he was impeccably sharp, far cleverer than his twin.

"You…you dreamt about sex, too?" Albedo was a tad surprised, but the Variants were skirting adolescence, and Rubedo developed the fastest. Sexual dreams came with maturing, although Albedo always feared Rubedo might have such dreams about a certain brunette girl. Was _that_ why Rubedo was so concerned about his nightmare? Then again, why would Rubedo consider a sexual dream about Sakura Mizrahi to be a "nightmare"? Surely, the link master's dreams about his cherry-scented sweetheart would be more appropriately categorized as "fantasies." Maybe Sakura had nothing to do with tonight's situation. Albedo hoped.

But then, if Rubedo's dream involved sex, why did it also include killings? Based on Rubedo's selection of words, the sex in his dream was unpleasant, indecent, and the first conclusion Albedo drew was rape. In a way, rape made sense for the caliber of Rubedo's violent nightmare. Factually, historical wars were filled with destruction, death, and rape, and it was no lie to call war a "nightmare." Plus, it was no secret that, despite the U.R.T.V. leader's prowess, Rubedo was not a fan of war. "Is that what your nightmare was about, Rubedo; war murder and rapes?"

_In a matter of speaking_ , but Rubedo could not easily bring himself to say yes. The dream did involve mass murder, but not necessarily war or mass rape. Technically, Rubedo only saw two people in his dream engage in intercourse: himself, and…

…Rubedo could not bring himself to admit it. Just thinking about what he did to his so-called beloved twin—butchering and defiling Albedo—was enough to make the link master scream. Big brothers did not think of their siblings that way, only monsters did.

" _Why are you the leader? You're a monster!"_

Come hell or high water, Rubedo did not want those standard U.R.T.V.s to be correct.

But…

" _Take me."_

_No! I'm not like that!_ Screwing his eyes shut, Rubedo vigorously shook his head until he felt dizzy. Something was drastically wrong with him. Was this what the standards meant when they called Rubedo a monster? After all, the word "monster" was not exclusive to actions of manslaughter. Monsters generally did the unthinkable, and rape was just as unthinkable as murder. Maybe Rubedo _was_ a monster, _But I don't want to be a monster!_

Unable to look his twin in the eye, Rubedo's opening orbs glanced at anything but Albedo. His lips cracked via absentminded chewing, and the bleeding lips stung when he pursed them together. Swallowing traces of copper, Rubedo never before felt so sick to his stomach. At that moment, he felt worse than a mere monster. He did not want to hurt anyone, especially the person he loved and needed most.

Stubbornly withholding a developing sob, the redhead no longer knew what to do. "God, I feel so fucked up." He spoke his mind, but Rubedo immediately realized his exceptionally poor linguistics. Realizing his slip of the tongue, the leader instantly tried to reclaim his dignity…whatever dignity he had left. "Er, I mean…" stammered the boy, before almost pleading, "What's happening to me, Albedo?"

Albedo was not certain, himself. He harbored his share of disturbing nightmares, but Rubedo's dream made Albedo's seem petty. Only then did the white-haired brother realize how petty he _had_ been acting lately. Ever since he discovered his regenerative curse, Albedo became fixated on himself: how _he_ would never die, how _he_ would be left behind, and how _he_ would suffer forever. Perhaps Albedo's self-centered anxieties were validated by his individualized fate.

Still, had the younger twin become so consumed by his problems that he was obvious to Rubedo's? The Variant twins were two halves of a former whole. Their minds were shared, as were their issues. When had the twins become so divided that Albedo never realized Rubedo's suffering until now? Albedo never wanted Rubedo to leave him behind, but disregarding Rubedo's problems was Albedo's inadvertent way of _him_ leaving his big brother. _How could I?_

Albedo's heart pounded agonizingly, reflecting the torture in Rubedo's right chest. It was only natural for one twin to alleviate the other's pain. If one boy suffered, both boys suffered, but if one boy was healed, both boys were happy. Rubedo usually did most healings, soothing his weaker twin as only Rubedo could. But tonight, it was Albedo who had to heal Rubedo as only he could.

Both hands cupping Rubedo's face, Albedo coerced the elder brother to finally return his gaze. It pained the younger twin to see such pain in Rubedo's usually-confident blue eyes. Tonight's nightmare was far from trivialness. Before further damage ensued, Albedo kept his own emotions in check before nursing Rubedo's.

"It was just a dream, Rubedo," though the white-haired twin knew he needed to say more to fully convince his ignorant brother. But both twins were stubborn, and Albedo had his ways of making Rubedo listen. Drawing faces closer, amethysts drilled into sapphires. "It'd definitely be a different story if you actually did those things in real life."

Albedo spoke the truth. No matter how silly or grisly, did Rubedo's dream truly matter if it only remained a dream? Perhaps, instead of this nightmare breaking Rubedo, he should consider it a warning _not_ to do those things. The link master had a brain and will of his own, so it was his choice whether or not to become a monster. And if Rubedo said no, then he had nothing to worry about, right?

Much to Rubedo's surprise, he did feel his worries lighten, albeit they did not vanish completely. "You may be right, Albedo, but…" he trailed, only seeing Albedo's face lighten for a second before the inevitable seriousness rehashed. Try as he might, the leader could not stop thinking about _it_.

"The thing is…the thing you don't understand is…it was you, Albedo." The redhead saw his brother's beautiful violet eyes blink innocently, which only carved another knife in Rubedo's aching chest. Bracing himself, Rubedo forced his blasphemous words. " _You_ 're the one who was…you're the one _I_..."

The younger brother almost asked Rubedo to clarify himself. Alas, the clarification came in a different manner. He saw Rubedo's red face, and he felt Rubedo's body tremble unlike before. They were not fearful shakes, but vibrations of something deeper and more—dare Albedo think?—carnal. It was the exact behavior Rubedo recently displayed when Albedo felt his…

…Everything made sense thereafter.

"Oh…" Albedo felt ridiculously stupid for saying so, but neither twin doubted this moment could get any stranger. The younger brother wondered which element gave Rubedo greater discomfort: his nightmare's gruesome content, or his nightmare's sexual content. And if the redhead spoke truthfully, the latter content was anything but rapturous pleasure.

_Does this mean, I'm the person Rubedo…killed…and…I'm also the person he–?_ Never given the chance to bask in the sweet potential of Rubedo taking his life, reality smacked the younger boy upside his head.

A short period of unpleasant silence overcame the twins, neither boy brave enough to make the next move. Rubedo feared the worst from Albedo's reaction. Already, the white-haired boy was paranoid over Rubedo abandoning him, and the nightmare suggested the ultimate betrayal. Albedo did not ignore these facts, either. However, the younger brother still believed a dream was a harmless dream. He was not a fan of nightmares, but it was Rubedo himself who advised Albedo never to take dreams too seriously. Why was Rubedo not following his own advice?

The look on Rubedo's flushed face easily answered Albedo's question.

_Rubedo is scared, but he's more…embarrassed._

Then again, Albedo's own cheeks were also quite bright. By now, the U.R.T.V.s had known about sex for a couple of years, but this was the first time such a subject made itself prominent in their lives. It was strange to admit that blood and guts did not bother U.R.T.V.s as much as sexuality. Then again, U.R.T.V.s were segregated bioweapons, intentionally raised to know as much about war, and to know as little about sex.

Nevertheless, with puberty around the corner, an episode such as tonight's was bound to happen sooner or later. Frankly, Albedo never looked forward to watching Rubedo embrace those types of urges. The younger boy was willing to bet money that the object of Rubedo's needs would be the brunette Albedo most despised.

_But_ … Violet eyes fluttered when Albedo realized he just bet his money on the wrong horse. Who would have guessed that the winner in the race for Rubedo's desires was _not_ the chestnut-brown horse, but the Arabian- _white_ horse? Of course, this little revelation transformed the white horse into red, blushing brighter than the hair of Albedo's other half. Perhaps Albedo was getting ahead of himself, or he was too blind to realize the severity of Rubedo's nightmare, but…

…For Albedo's life and innocence to be taken by his beloved was the greatest gift Rubedo could ever give him.

Albedo was flattered.

Nevertheless, Albedo was not stupid enough to speak his current mind to Rubedo. The link master was deeply mortified by his dream, and mortified by what he _did_ in the dream. Now was not the time for Albedo to resurrect his masochism, nor was it the time for cliché love confessions, which would only escalate Rubedo's pain. Someday, maybe, there would come an opportunity for Albedo to speak his heart, and maybe, someday, Rubedo's dream would no longer be just a dream. Maybe.

"Maybe I really am a monster, Albedo."

Alas, now was not Albedo's time. Rubedo hurt too deeply, and it was not the younger boy's duty to rub salt in his big brother's wounds. If Albedo intended to prove why he felt this way, now was his chance. Love was unconditional, and that was all he really wanted from Rubedo. But to receive a gift, sometimes, one must give first.

Finally returning to Rubedo's eyes, Albedo shook his head, unintentionally tickling his twin's pink cheeks with his swishing white hair. As gently and honestly as he could muster, the younger boy replied, "No, you're not a monster, Rubedo."

The sincerity in Albedo's voice and eyes was almost enough to convince Rubedo. Sadly, the poison left in wake of Rubedo's nightmare left the link master feeling less gullible. Hating to do so, Rubedo turned away from Albedo. He appreciated the ivory twin's tenderness, but sugarcoated words were never enough for Rubedo.

"Killing, raping…" Rubedo could hardly believe his own words, barely coming to terms with the fact that _he_ did such horrid things in _his_ friggen dream—to _his_ brother! It was almost enough to drive him insane. "Seriously, Albedo, don't make light of this. Shit like that isn't the handiwork of sweet little boys."

True, but Albedo was not finished. "I never said we were 'sweet little boys.' U.R.T.V.s lose that title the moment of birth. But we're humans, too, and all humans—from the moment of birth—are not considered 100% innocent." _Original Sin_ , Albedo recalled. "I suppose that's what makes us human."

Though he did not say so, Rubedo noted the validity of his twin's words. U.R.T.V.s may have been bioweapons, and they may have been sheltered from most of the world. Nevertheless, Rubedo was not stupid enough to believe all other humans were saints. After all, if the rest of humanity were perfect, there would be no conflict, and ultimately, there never would have been a need to create weapons in the first place. Lo and behold, the galaxy engaged in an endless war. This era fought over the Zohar, but what would the next era bring? Chances were, people would always find some excuse to fight, to fail, and perpetuate the imperfect realities of basic human nature.

While absorbing Albedo's valuable insight, Rubedo could not help but lightly snort. Shrugging once and incredulously raising his eyebrows, the cocky redhead theorized, "So then, I guess we're all pretty fucked up, aren't we?"

The leader's impeccable word choice prompted both boys to blush and chuckle simultaneously. Their close proximity caused the two giggling bodies to vibrate against each other, which quickly broke the lightheartedness and regained Rubedo's attention. Even if he was imperfect, and even if the whole Goddamn world sucked, that did not diminish the fact that Rubedo's nightmare was utterly vile.

His smile disappearing as quickly as it arrived, Rubedo looked back into his favorite pair of eyes. "Do you…think I'm a monster, Albedo?" He figured it was a ridiculous question to ask, but Rubedo desperately wanted his brother's answer—a _legitimate_ answer, nothing patronizing.

Having no intention of patronizing Rubedo, Albedo gazed into his own favorite color of eyes. "Does it matter, Rubedo?"

Sapphire orbs blinking, Rubedo knew he never expected such a question. "Huh?" he exclaimed, a little louder than necessary, and enough to make Albedo minutely flinch. Recomposing himself, Rubedo lowered his voice's volume before proceeding. "Of course it matters!"

Maybe it mattered to Rubedo, but Albedo thought differently. "Not if it doesn't change people's opinions of you."

It was not uncommon for Albedo to bewilder Rubedo. Yet, this situation was one case when the temperamental link master did not want to screw around. "What?"

"If you're worried about what the standard U.R.T.V.s said, don't be." Albedo was willing to beat up another dozen standards if necessary. Their pain would be gentle compared to the anxieties Rubedo shouldered thanks to the standards' slander. Shaking his head to expel his bubbling resentment, Albedo added, "I don't give damn about what those standards think. They won't listen to Variants no matter what we say. Arguing with them is no different than arguing with a wall—hell, a wall has more personality than those _things_."

That being said, "The standards' words should be taken with a grain of salt," Albedo highly advised, giving his lost link master a forceful glance in order to prove his point. "There are much more important people whose opinions you should worry about, Rubedo."

With the most important person staring him in the face, Rubedo began to see light at the end of his dark depressing tunnel. But although the standard U.R.T.V.s struck a cord with Rubedo, he really did not over-analyze their condemnation until after his latest nightmare. Then again, Albedo claimed the standards' opinions were worthless. The truthfulness behind a nonsensical nightmare held little value as well. Really, Rubedo had let two unreliable sources of defamation get under his skin, when in actuality he should have worried about people whose comments were credible.

But then came the million-dollar question; the subject at the root of Rubedo's pain. It was rare for the link master to openly act skittish, but he could not help but feel scared. What he was about to ask was not an easy question, and if the answer proved unfavorable…Rubedo did not know how he would react. Alas, no matter how frightened he felt, he knew he had to get to the bottom of this matter once and for all. Swallowing a plethora of anxieties, the redhead breathed heavily before finding his voice.

"So… _do you_ think I'm a monster, Albedo?"

Albedo claimed Rubedo was not a monster, but his declaration was more factual than opinionated. Like it or not, three 6's were branded into Rubedo's right hand, so it was true that the link master was a monster in some fashion. But more than anything, Rubedo wanted to know the opinion of his dearest—the person whose opinion trumped all logic. When Rubedo first asked if Albedo "thought" his twin was a monster, the younger boy replied, "Does it matter?" and not exactly a straightforward answer. The redhead always preferred bluntness, too impatient to beat around the bush, whereas Albedo seemed to enjoy riddles. Just this once, Rubedo wanted a clear-cut answer: "yes" or "no," and nothing more. Did Albedo honestly believe Rubedo was a monster?

Silently, slender arms coiled around Rubedo's waist in a tighter embrace.

Blinking, Rubedo peered down to see a patch of white hair burrow back beneath his chin. The redhead could feel Albedo's ear against his chest, listening to the link master's twin hearts contradicting each other. Rubedo disliked the half-assed melody, yet Albedo seemed quite comfortable and enchanted.

Closing his eyes for a moment, Albedo inhaled his brother's familiar scent—as relaxing as incense and as addictive as marijuana. Upon exhaling, a small smile teased Albedo's lips when he noticed his released breath penetrated Rubedo's nightshirt, briefly tickling the leader's skin underneath. It would be inappropriate to admit to Rubedo, but Albedo always found his haughty twin to be adorable whenever he squirmed. Besides, Albedo had more important things to say to Rubedo, such as…

"You're my big brother."

The last line should have touched Rubedo, but instead he felt downright annoyed. Why the hell could Albedo not give him a straight answer? How difficult was it to say a "yes" or "no," both words containing one syllable and were no larger than three letters! This was not a challenge by any means, so why did Albedo make matters difficult? Did the younger brother not realize how desperate Rubedo felt right now? Did Albedo enjoy making Rubedo uncomfortable?

Controlling his temper was never one of Rubedo's attributes, but he gave one final effort. "That's-that's not answering my question, Albedo." But rest assured, if Albedo continued to dodge his question, Rubedo's fuse was bound to blow.

Quite the contrary, Albedo knew what he was doing. "To me, it answers your question, Rubedo," the boy admitted, much to the surprise of his elder. Nuzzling deeper into Rubedo's comfy chest, Albedo fluttered his eyes, feeling minute moisture within. It never took much effort to make the middle child act emotional, but the bliss of being in Rubedo's arms only triggered jovial tears. "I don't care what you are, what you might've been meant to become, or what other people think. You're mine, Rubedo, and that's all I want. That's all that matters. If it's enough for me, shouldn't it be enough for you?"

It was easier for Albedo to condemn the rest of the world when his personal universe only concerned itself with Rubedo. Alas, Rubedo was not as fortunate. As leader, he was obligated to be concerned about the world outside the twins' oasis. Too many people relied on Rubedo, and Rubedo cared about many people, too.

Nevertheless, that did not diminish Albedo's importance. No matter how many people climbed aboard Rubedo's shoulders, only one person meant the world to him. Rubedo did not disregard the outside world, but the outside world's opinions were significantly less vital than Albedo's. If this moment was enough for Albedo, then in a lesser degree, it was enough for Rubedo. With his twins' arms around him, perhaps Rubedo never needed a straightforward answer to his question after all.

"By the way…you were wrong about one thing, Rubedo."

Just when Rubedo finally began to relax, Albedo's unexpected words ignited a new quandary. Unsure how to react, Rubedo proceeded with caution. "Huh?"

Practically swapping roles, it was Albedo's turn to blush and fidget, which easily escalated Rubedo's vexation. It did not help that Albedo's squirms rubbed up against Rubedo, friction and pleasure increasing their moment's awkwardness. "Well…" the white-haired child began, hesitant to look back into Rubedo's eyes. "Before, you said your dream involved rape."

Not wanting to remember that particularly disturbing vignette, Rubedo bit his lip and begrudgingly lowered his head like a punished puppy.

"Well…it's not rape of you have my consent, Rubedo."

" _This is what I want, Rubedo."_

Wide eyes snapping open, Rubedo knew Albedo must have felt the link master's hearts nearly burst from his chest. A nervous sweat broke and the redhead's chest heaved to levels of near-hyperventilation. Never, ever expecting to hear such words from his twin, Rubedo seriously considered the possibility that tonight may have been one long dream. Did Albedo _really_ want–?

There was no denying the expression Albedo offered him, his glistening violets always capable of melting Rubedo's self-proclaimed resilience. Countless times in the past, the twins gazed into each other's eyes, but this was the first time Rubedo noticed something different in Albedo's eyes. It was not full-fledged lust, nor was it ivory chasteness. Albedo's maturing rate might be statistically slower than Rubedo's, but the younger twin _was_ maturing, nonetheless. He loved his big brother—always had, always would—and just like his body, Albedo's love was slowly maturing.

Well aware of Rubedo's punch-drunk stupor, the blushing Albedo gently giggled before playfully cocking his head. Not the type to ignore emotion, Albedo never denied his desires. Yet, he did not necessarily imply such desires had to be met _immediately_. Perhaps when he and Rubedo were older, "…Someday, maybe?"

Uncertain how to answer, Rubedo quietly recollected himself before speaking. He had no intentions of breaking Albedo's heart, but he was not quite ready for Albedo's earth-shattering confession, either. Then again, _was_ the moment so earth-shattering? It was common knowledge that Albedo was fixated with Rubedo. The odds of Albedo's emotions evolving were not extraordinarily outrageous to believe. Even in Rubedo's nightmare, Albedo wanted Rubedo.

In retrospect, there was never a reason to assume rape in the first place. Why _did_ Rubedo misconstrue it as rape? Then again, the dream did not portray Rubedo in the most flattering of lights. He was the villain in that nightmare, villains did heinous deeds, and few villains were nice enough to fulfill people's desires without malevolent intentions. Besides, Albedo was Rubedo's brother, and Rubedo was not thrilled with the idea of _that_ happening to his twin. Nonetheless, the white-haired half _did_ give his consent in the nightmare, although Rubedo failed to recall confessing that memory to Albedo earlier. Perhaps Rubedo had Albedo's consent all along, long before tonight's dream. And if Albedo gave his consent, then…was it as wrong as Rubedo initially believed? The kids were still kids, but they were not idiots, and each twin was headstrong enough to know exactly what he wanted in life. Heavens knew Albedo made it blatantly clear that what he wanted was Rubedo. The redhead just never suspected Albedo wanted him that way.

Then again, considering the embarrassing escapade between Rubedo's legs from earlier…maybe the twins' bodies wanted more than the kids' brains realized.

"… _Someday, maybe?"_

Perhaps Rubedo's body gave an answer, but his mouth was not ready to reply. Usually, the link master had to be "ready for anything" during his line of work, but this was one case where Rubedo could not dive headfirst. If this hesitance coined him a coward, so be it. But if that hellish nightmare taught anything to Rubedo, it was that he needed to exercise self-control and tame impulses, both violent and sexual. And maybe, someday, when Rubedo accomplished what it truly meant to be mature, he could explore the deepest stage of his and Albedo's relationship.

Until then, Rubedo managed a gentle smile for his other half. Carnal needs aside, simple affection always appeased the twins. Raising a hand to stroke Albedo's bangs, Rubedo cleared a patch of his twin's forehead for a kiss. Synchronized with lips against skin, Albedo's embrace squeezed, before he returned a peck to Rubedo's mouth. Sensing the leader's concerns, Albedo kept the smooch innocent, satisfied that though Rubedo was not ready for more, the link master still happily returned his twin's kiss.

Rubedo had to admit, even if he was not 100% ready to carry the full weight of adulthood, a part of him was quite flattered by Albedo's honesty. To be loved by someone—loved as a brother, loved as a comrade, loved as a confidante, and then loved as a lover—was a rarity Rubedo doubted happened between U.R.T.V.s. The Variant twins had always been a special case, ever since conception.

Thereafter, the brothers parted and relaxed in each other's arms. It was the first time all night that Rubedo and Albedo felt peaceful. After all, both boys had endured their share of scares tonight thanks to nightmares.

_Come to think of it_ … Rubedo suddenly realized, raising his red eyebrows. While Albedo returned to resting atop his chest, the redhead had been absentmindedly stroking the albino's hair. He could tell Albedo would soon drift asleep, which Rubedo intended to do as well. However, Rubedo never slept when he had something on his mind. He had no intentions of upsetting Albedo, but after Albedo's comfort, Rubedo wanted to return the favor.

"Hey, Albedo?" he whispered, still brushing white locks. Averting his gaze to the dark ceiling, Rubedo hoped he was not asking the wrong question. "You don't have to answer this if you're not up to it, but…what exactly was your nightmare about, anyway?"

Albedo tensed and unlocked his arms from Rubedo's frame. It was true that Albedo had been exceptionally vague when relaying his earlier nightmare, and a part of him wished he would never have to recall the details. Noticing Albedo's change in demeanor, Rubedo immediately chastised himself. But before the link master could eat his words and start apologizing, Albedo's hands found their way back to the leader's chest, his tattooed hand caressing Rubedo's right heart.

"I dreamt we were all in this dark place," the younger boy recalled, doing his best not to allow his voice to waver. Rubedo was brave enough to divulge his nightmare and Albedo intended to follow suit, even if he was not nearly as brave as his big brother. Inhaling Rubedo's scent for motivation, Albedo continued. "Then something happened. We were attacked, and you…" He could not help but pause. "…You left me, Rubedo. No matter how many times I screamed at you not to, you still let me go."

Even if Albedo's dream did not sound nearly as disgusting or suggestive as Rubedo's, the link master felt his heart squeeze. He knew Albedo's ultimate fear was abandonment, so dreams such as tonight's were not unlikely. Nevertheless, for Rubedo to willingly leave Albedo was so cruel and ridiculous! It would be difficult enough when death separated the twins against their wills, but it would be a cold day in Hell before Rubedo abandoned his other half via his own volition.

His own tattooed palm finding Albedo's, Rubedo's hand clutched his twin's. Sadly, Albedo was not quite ready to look his brother in the eye, either due to the dream or due to hiding oncoming tears. Either way, the redhead squeezed Albedo's palm, disproving the nightmare's claim of Rubedo letting go.

"Don't worry, Albedo," Rubedo spoke with utmost certainty. "I'd never do that to you."

Even then, Albedo was afraid to face Rubedo. After a small sniffle, the white-haired boy whispered, "Really?"

Nodding confidently, Rubedo raised his and Albedo's clasped hands to his lips, sealing the promise with a kiss. "I swear."

Albedo remained quiet, but Rubedo did not need an answer. Instead, the leader wrapped his arms and drew his younger half closer. The twins were always content in each other's arms, feeling symbiotic warmth and inhaling each other's scent. Vaguely, hugs always reminded the twins of how they used to be whole. Tonight was no exception.

Then again… tonight had been different in certain respects. What were the odds that both Rubedo and Albedo would endure a nightmare on the same night? Some people claimed fate worked in mysterious ways, but tonight, Rubedo believed fate worked very idealistically and suspiciously. Still, the twins were originally one body, so it was not uncommon for them to share thoughts, feelings, and so forth. The probability of the telepathic twins undergoing near-simultaneous nightmares was not extraordinarily out of the question.

Rubedo decided to leave the subject so he and his brother could finally sleep. Neither boy knew the time, but the leader estimated he and Albedo awoke during the wee hours of the morning. U.R.T.V.s could not afford to oversleep, nor could they sleepily go through a day of training. Snuggling against his half-heart, the relaxed Rubedo shut his eyes, breathing in Albedo's familiar scent before returning to slumber land.

"Liar."

Azure eyes unveiled, Rubedo stared at his twin's mop of ivory hair. The room's temperature dropped, in spite of the boys' togetherness. Instead, their embrace froze and hearts skipped. All the while, Albedo still refused to look into Rubedo's eyes.

"Lies may help you sleep through the night, but not for me, Rubedo."

His twin's inexplicit mood swing chilled Rubedo's core. Unwrapping arms, Rubedo brought his hands to his twin's shoulders, hoping to make sense of the matter. Gradually raising Albedo's gaze to his, the redhead demanded to know, "Albedo…what the–what're you talking about–?"

Sapphire eyes met amethysts; the iridescent purple jewels Rubedo cherished. Quite often, Rubedo saw those eyes glossed pink with tears, and now was no exception. Albedo's purple orbs were stained red, leaking liquids down to his chin. While it was never a shock for Rubedo to see Albedo's tears, the link master was shocked to see his twin's wept fluids were _not_ tears.

_Blood._

He had these dreams—nightmares—periodically. Once in a blue moon these visions came, resembling thieves in the night. Like sweet fruit gone rotten, his pristine white fantasies would be tarnished in rusty crimson. Why did he have these gruesome nightmares? The boy knew why, deep down, but he preferred to plead ignorant.

Emotions ensnared in his throat, the wide-eyed Rubedo choked, "…Albe–Albedo."

"Heh…hehehh…"

First he would notice the laughter. It was not the jovial chuckling of children, or the tender giggles that could only come from the object of his affection. Rubedo's heart did not flutter whilst listening to these sick, blood-curdling cackles.

Unwrapping arms from his twin, the white-haired gigglier wiped away the tear-like blood from his face. The back of his tattooed hand stained crimson, Albedo brought the hand to his mouth, lapping up metallic remains as his tongue swirled in a lewd fashion. Once finished, the tongue slithered back into Albedo's mouth, lips cracking a bloodstained smirk whilst his hands ascended to Rubedo.

"This is the fourth time this week," the unmasked Albedo noted, his voice darkening with every syllable. His palms flat against Rubedo's heaving chest, the younger boy's fingertips playfully tapped against the leader's collarbone. "What's going on, Rubedo?" he asked suggestively, apparently knowing the answer to his own question. "You never used to have this many nightmares."

Albedo's fingernails brushing against Rubedo's skin, the white-haired half leaned in closer, feeling Rubedo's hot breath puffing anxieties. As a sick smirk of satisfaction manifested across Albedo's young face, the twisted twin brought his lips to the link master's left ear.

"Does this have something to do with what happened the other day, Rubedo?" asked Albedo, knowing Rubedo's eyes must have widened in horror. The once-proud leader's body quaked for an entirely new reason, raw fear overpowering him. There was only one other time in his life that Rubedo felt so terrified, and Albedo knew. "Don't you remember that day, Rubedo?" Albedo taunted, his voice dripping with venom as he sneered maliciously. "Don't you remember when you left me?"

Rubedo's heart skipped one beat…

"Don't you remember when you let U-DO rape me?"

…Two beats…

"Don't you remember when you _killed_ me, Rubedo?"

Refusing to believe this nonsense, Rubedo wildly shook his head. "You're not–"

In a split second, Albedo's cat's-eyes found Rubedo's. "But I _am_ , Rubedo."

"No, you're not!" The link master denied, attempting to wiggle free from his twin's hold. Alas, the more he tried to escape, the deeper Albedo's nails penetrated Rubedo's bleeding collarbone. "This isn't real!"

"Really?" Albedo played along, cocking his head but never unlocking his darkened eyes from Rubedo. When he heard his red twin stifle a whimper, Albedo's digging fingers relented, releasing Rubedo's stinging wounds. Strangely, Rubedo wondered how the hell he could feel physical pain in a dream, unless…

The link master opened his mouth to protest, but Albedo's lips firmly silenced him. The only sounds Rubedo managed to make were struggling moans, attempting to force himself free from his younger brother's impressive hold. But it was not real—it was a dream! Rubedo just needed to awake and he and Albedo would be back to normal, happily ever after in each other's presence. Undeniably, Rubedo did not want to remember Albedo like _this_.

_Stop, Albedo._

When the younger twin's kiss parted via a malicious smile, Albedo dared, "Well then, Rubedo, tell me if _this_ isn't real, either."

It was meant to be faster than a knife, and certainly more painful. White claws embedded themselves deep into Rubedo's skin, descending to slice clothing and skin. Try as he might, Rubedo could not prevent his screams from escalating as Albedo's talons headed south. The redhead almost screamed his throat dry when two distinct claws purposefully glided across both of the boy's nipples. Dizzied by pain and blood loss, Rubedo's brain hammered against his skull as Albedo relentlessly continued. It was not long before the bottom of Rubedo's nightshirt was cut, unveiling the butchered mess Albedo made of his twin's chest and stomach. Even then, Albedo's claws proceeded past the navel.

Between the sweat, pain, and involuntary tears, Rubedo barely managed to choke, "Albedo…don't–"

"Ah, but I will, Rubedo. We can't stop in the middle."

The link master's midsection breached, talons ripped through the remaining nightwear. Damned to go down without a fight, Rubedo forced himself to grab Albedo's shoulders, to push away the younger brother once and for all. Alas, the leader's grip never budged his twin. All of a sudden, Albedo's arms felt firmer, larger, and far more muscular than the redhead's form. In fact, all of a sudden, _everything_ about Albedo reflected greater physical impressiveness than Rubedo. When had the link master become so small in the wake of his seemingly-weaker sibling?

The disoriented redhead continued to fight and scream, but Rubedo's efforts were easily overpowered by size. His scratches barely cut Albedo. Conversely, Albedo's claws worked like Swiss army knives across Rubedo, dissecting him as Rubedo carved Albedo in his previous nightmare. Except, Rubedo did not fear Albedo taking his life. The link master feared Albedo would take something _else_.

Blood rushed through and out of the redhead's veins. Surely, _everything_ had to be a bad dream. But when Rubedo's hazy eyesight refocused upon the new appearance of his allegedly younger brother—now taller, powerfully built, handsome, seductive—Rubedo's sense of logic became overridden by the return of that Goddamned urge between his thighs. The redhead's screams became garbled by unwilling moans. Whenever Rubedo tried to push away Albedo, the man effortlessly pinned the child back down. If Rubedo tried to slink away, his twin's unexpected weight stabilized him. When a physical battle proved useless, Rubedo begrudgingly realized he only had one last resort, feeling his red-hot rage become his ultimate weapon.

Of course, Albedo expected to see the Dragon glow inside Rubedo's eyes. This was what the white-haired man wanted.

"Though your sins be crimson red, they may become white as wool." His bloodstained hands tightly holding Rubedo's middle, Albedo leaned in for the grand finale. Adoring Rubedo's horrified face, the white-haired man licked his lips just to get another squirm out of his twin. "If you are willing to obey, you shall reap the benefits." But knowing his fighting Rubedo would never give such a satisfaction to Albedo, the madman's talons engraved themselves into the redhead's bleeding hips. "But if you refuse and resist, Rubedo, the sword shall consume you."

Proving his grossly sacrilegious point, white hands tore open Rubedo's legs like a book, thereafter Albedo thrust himself into his other half.

The only reason Rubedo finally opened his eyes was because he screamed Albedo's name.

* * *

Rubedo's eyes flew open as he took a heavy gasp, mirroring a formerly-submerged swimmer breaking the surface after holding his breath too long. Crystalline beads trickled down his body, adhering sleepwear to sweat-soaked skin. Gripping bed sheets whilst feverishly trembling, the panting redhead desperately attempted to salvage his composure. Still flat on his back, the redhead stared into the darkness of his ceiling, listening to his heart pump into his ears.

_A dream…another nightmare…that's all it was._

After convincing himself for a few minutes, the calming U.R.T.V. sighed in tremendous relief.

_Thank God._

Nevertheless, dream or no dream, Rubedo was quite shaken up. It may have been childish for him, but it was his nature to seek comfort when scared. U.R.T.V.s were always reliant on each other, namely due to their spiritual connection. However, the Variant twins had one extra incentive.

Clearing his throat, Rubedo whispered into the night, "Albedo?"

One second past, then another and another. As time ticked, Rubedo's heart beat faster, before he finally realized Albedo did not reply. _("Albedo"?)_ , he asked across their telepathic link, waiting another second, two seconds, three seconds…what the hell was Albedo waiting for? Anxious for his twin's embrace, Rubedo pulled himself to sit up, hoping to find his snoozing twin once Rubedo tossed aside his bed's expensive comforter–

Via one dramatic swoop, Rubedo's briefly billowing sheets cascaded along the edge of his big bed. Once cleared, the redhead stared at the right side of his mattress, uninhabited by the ivory-haired little boy he hoped to see curled like a puppy. Hesitantly, Rubedo's right hand grazed the right bed, feeling no trace of recent body heat. Only Rubedo's half was warm, the other side cold as death.

When it dawned on him, the U.R.T.V.'s hand returned to him, conveniently flashing his 666 tattoo as a scarlet reminder. The image liquefied as Rubedo's hand skittishly fell over his cold right chest. His half-heart now hollow and silent, the boy's hand clutched his chest, his body doubling-over as though he were just stabbed with a knife. Not long after his forehead rested atop his knees, his thighs became speckled with multiple teardrops.

Surely, it was all just a horrific nightmare…right?

" _Because I love you. And if it's you…it's okay, Rubedo. This is what I want."_

Alas, was not a dream after all, and for Jr., that was the most horrific part.

**The End**


End file.
